SPIDER-JAIL! SPIDER-JAIL! SPIDER-SPIDER SPIDER-JAIL!

I’m tired of killing bugs guys.

I’ve been killing bugs now for over 20+ years and I really wish we could all get along but Animal Planet and National Geographic has taught me better. But in the meantime at Casa Del Uno I’ve decided to make a short term armistice with the Creepy Crawlers in my apartment. For, while we’re different, I figure were all just really trying to live our best lives. And I can’t fault them for it so with that in mind I’m trying to further understand life from their perspective and offer these guys a chance at a better livelihood–

outside of my apartment. 😃

But as you can see they keep visiting my home waaay too often much to my disapproval.

I think the local spiders and millipedes have decided to take residence in my spot because I just be chilling when I’m at my abode [and trying to get my dineros] and they fucks with the vibe, but , unfortunatey, these “little” guys don’t understand us human folk like that and how absolutely terrifying they are when left to their own devices. I mean , we’ve all walked facefirst into that dreaded unseen spiderweb and have also found critters in unlikely spots. For instance, I just recently I had a guy that wanted to say hello pop out of a sock I was about to put on. The audacity right?! But it just goes to show how uneducated these guys are right? So ya know, out of concern for their well being and the safety of the general public I decided to lay down the law at Casa Del Uno and teach these ghetto ass bugs a lesson in civilty. So I gathered a budget and contacted some people at the local Wal-Mart and constructed this here high tech state-of-the-art thing-a-mabob detention facility for my insectoid friends.

And as you can see it’s doing it’s job. But after giving these here varmints some well spent time to reflect on their life choices once I figure they seem readjusted I set them free to roam the streets.

It’s my hope that now educated on the kindness of Unoism they can lead with example and warn their kind to stay the hell out of my apartment.

Stay Cool,

-UTH